The Rules for Marriage: The Home Hour, Episode 92

Dating and marriage. Divorce and remarriage. Online matchmaking and keeping your marriage exciting. This episode is all about relationships!

Today on the Home Hour Kirsten and Graham are joined by Sherrie Schneider, co-author of the best-selling book series “The Rules” to talk about The Rules for Marriage.

Since the publication of their first book in 1995, The Rules for Dating, Sherrie and her co-author Ellen Fein have sold millions of copies of their books to women all over the world. Today Sherrie chats with Kirsten and Graham about some how to create and maintain a happily married life. We also talk about how to divorce with class and approach a new future with optimism.

Also on the episode, how much botox is too much botox, why Graham would help her husband bury a body, and dating advice for Lady Gaga….assuming she’s a fan of the show.

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Thanks Modsy for this great opportunity to update our home’s look! Be sure to check our instgram for some amazing before and after shots of the renderings too!


  1. I usually really enjoy your show but this episode was so sexist and terrible I could barely finish listening. I cannot believe you ladies thought this was good information.

    • Erin–I’m so so glad you took the time to write us and comment. And thank you again for listening to our show. We try to bring in guests that we think will be interesting/different/thought provoking/ etc.. I’m sorry you didn’t enjoy the episode. We do, however, like, and will continue to try to bring in guests with different ideas (maybe even from our own), to push us, show us how others are thinking, etc. Sometimes we’re spot on, and others, we know we’re going to swing and miss. We knew the book was controversial when we asked the Rule’s girls to come on, but we don’t always think controversy is a bad thing. But know that we TRULY, value our listeners opinions, and want to have guests you’ll be interested in and excited about. And I am sorry that this show wasn’t enjoyable for you. If you have any suggestions regarding topics you’d like and or guests you’d like to hear more from, please do let us know. We’re really glad you took the time to write, and to have you as a listener.

  2. Hi Kristen and Graham. I appreciate controversy as well. And I do think it is very important, particularly at this time in our national culture, to listen to other people’s opinions. But I am shocked that you two just breezily went along with the incredibly sexist and outdated ideas presented by this author on your show. She actually said “Women want security and men like risk” and “Men are the boss”? Is that what you want your daughters to hear? Is that a life lesson you want you daughters or any female to adhere to? That she doesn’t like risks, isn’t capable of risk and only wants security? Wow. At times, you have both sounded old fashioned in your approach to relationships and women’s roles, but this one went beyond the pale. You are two educated, seemingly bright women who are making your way in the world with your own business and ventures, so why don’t you live that truth, instead of peddling these archaic ideas. Be an example for what women can do, rather than backtracking to an outdated model of womanhood that was prevalent in the 1950’s. You could have had The Rules author on, and while still being respectful, questioned her a little harder, probed a little bit deeper into her ideas. Controversy is fine, but I would have hoped for a more thoughtful and balanced interview with this woman who in no way is a champion of women’s rights. Right now, more than ever, with the Harvey Weinstein scandal and a misogynistic president, women are under the gun more than ever, respected less than ever and I hope you two think about these truths much more before you book your next guest. I am a regular listener, but this woman and your rah rah support of her, makes me rethink my loyalty to your brand. This whole episode was basically repulsive.

  3. Hey Jennifer! I must say you do make an excellent point. I won’t tackle the “did you/did you not like the episode portion” because I spoke to that in the listener comment above, but what DID intrigue me was your review of our interviewing technique. High level, you are correct with relation to the treatment of women globally/what do we want our daughters to learn conversation that this is an important time to make sure women feel powerful, equal, and like they can/should and will live in a world that values them as equals. Unfortunately, I see the status of women continually deteriorating in many parts of the world. So I like your idea about probing further, etc. I guess, having interviewed people for so many years now, my technique–and it may not be the correct one, is to make the interviewee feel as comfortable as possible. I have always found this method to serve me best in truly getting to the root of their thought patterns. While Kirsten and I struggled with some of what Sherrie was telling us, we wanted her to feel in a safe space to open up. I’m so turned off by the shouting matches/putting guests on the offensive that I have found it makes them clam up twice as much and you never get the “nut” of the issue. Obviously our show is for entertainment, and I wasn’t trying to break Sherrie down, but I did want to get to the meat of the thought process behind the Rules. Maybe we weren’t able to encapsulate it in the time allotted for the show:) What I heard her say, in a way of sorts, was that there was an element of gamesmanship to this whole marriage business, much as there was in the Rules for dating. When I used to do contract negotiation, I always liked to know my opponents weak spots and Achilles heel. Maybe I was reading through the line’s a bit too much, but I saw elements of a powerful weapon in Sherrie’s words (again, hoping not to use a weapon on our SPOUSES!), but one where if navigated properly, both partners benefit. You write beautifully, and I know you got the “chew the meat spit the bones” portion of the content, but I will do my best, as Kirsten and I continue to have and engage more controversial listeners, to probe and make sure we are being clear in our non partisanship. All the best, and I cannot thank you enough for taking the time to listen, write, and share your thoughts. We are grateful to have such an intelligent audience! ~Graham

  4. I have really enjoyed your show and I’m a long time Mom Hour listener. Frankly, this episode has soured me. Would you defend the writer or her book, let alone give her a platform, if she were saying such archaic and offensive things about race? Why is it still acceptable for anyone to declare men superior to women? This isn’t about offering differing opinions, this is about providing a pulpit for an apologist who has made money off of convincing women that they deserve less. That in order to keep their men, they should not expect equality.

  5. This episode was soooo refreshing!!! It’s amazing how shocking it is to hear someone speak their truth!! Thanks ladies!

    • Thanks Lauren!
      Glad you enjoyed the show. Clearly this was one of our more controversial episodes but we love the idea of introducing different viewpoints on topics and starting conversations. Thanks so much for listening!

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